I’m dropping alot of things right now. We are still quarantine and it’s effected me so much. Right now I’m jobless, I can’t go to the gym and stay in the habit of being up. With that being the case, my battery is draining even faster because I can’t really do much. I just do what I always do in this god-forsaken house. Fantasize about certain guys in my life. Whether they are prominent in my life, or even if I don’t know their name. There is always atleast one. I’m fairly lonely. And I’m a fantastic atoryteller. It’s usually the same story though, just reformed and better told each time.
Usually involves a guy who has never given me actual signals, getting reimagined as somewhat obsessed with me, and I’m just the tsundere who makes them wait 5 years before ever allowing them to actually make physical contact. It’s really stupid, as if I really want a relationship and yet I really don’t.
That kinda gets me to my fanfiction writing. I have a story to tell, but my struggle is really finding the time to world build and create setting. I have the original materials, but of course in fanfiction you do have to veer off. I’msad to admit it, I hadn’t made any progress on my writing since I last spoke of it. I think I mention having it fully written in two weeks a week and a half ago. I’m so sick of myself. There hasn’t been much substance to what I’ve been eating. Therefore, there hasn’t been any real substance or energy coming from me lately. That and I also have finals next week, which is a legitimate excuse. Wish me luck btw. I just wanna get my haircut and go to the gym. I wanna feel pretty again. I gained alot this semester weight wise. But me coming home has been a downhill spiral since. Home has never really been good to me…
I’ll find the inspiration. Side note, next week will be hectic so if I don’t update I apologize.