Well, it’s happening again. Now I feel worse about it. It’s taking me back to a place in freshman year where I could barely do anything for myself ever. This feeling is terrible. I hate being broke.
Never had money like that. The only reason coming to college was an option for me because of good test scores. God hates poor kids. And likewise, so do private institutions. There’s a lot of hate for broke people in general. Sadly, it’s not as easy to avoid as one would think.
A breakthrough is going to happen for me though. There was a point in June of this year, the feeling of disappointment in myself crippling me. Seems like I made nothing happen and I felt like those around me saw me as a dead-weight. Not even a dead-weight, just me being a side character to my own life.
There is, of course, a lot of personal responsibility that should be taken in this situation. Because my father refused to give me my social security until my 19th birthday, it was impossible to get work. He also didn’t teach me how to drive.
Above all, if mom were still here, there would be a more well rounded adult in my shoes. It’s not easy being a broke college student. At one point, I’m gonna make a post where I make a tutorial on how to survive.
I want to get to the point in life where I let my brain rot for 6 hours and sleep for 8 more. Family, work, and Jesus can have the rest. I do work as an event planning coordinator for our food pantry on campus. It just won’t pay enough though. And now that food is 6th priority, there is a lot of stress and worry.