It’s something I should’ve thought about sooner. It’s something I would’ve thought about sooner had I stopped my repetitive train of self pity. At this moment, 2 a.m., I am still struggling to finish schoolwork and not fail classes because of it. It may not work out in my favor this time. I’m taking the time to type this up because I had this revelation 2 days ago. Pretty soon after my last 3 posts.
It was centered around essentially the flip-side to what I was so upset about weeks ago. I was angry with my parents for getting a new house without a space for me. And pressuring me to figure things out. My sibling even has a room. And I felt that them even going out of there way to take me to the house, was both of them trying to send a message to me. You can see that at the very least I had somewhat addressed my issues with my stepmother threw previous posts.
It was when I sat there finishing and publishing my post about her response that I fully realized that my sister is going to college THIS YEAR! She graduates high school this month. Yes I already knew this to that extent. What I didn’t realize until now is, that my parents probably picked the house because it was somewhat close to the college she was going to.
And that she was probably going to leave the house. I was shaken, do you understand what this means? It means that for the time being, while they are still figuring out how they are gonna sell the house. I would be the only one in it if I chose to commute. I HAVE A HOUSE TO MYSELF!!! Potentially, in the future I guess.
But that is still so groundbreaking for me. Because this fact hit me at a good spot. Right now, I’ve been in need of actual motivation to do things over the summer. This, this gives me all the motivation I need to finally start driving. I need to be able to do that, if I want commuting to be worth it. And If I hop on this goal now. I might even be able to change my housing status at the beginning of the year, and start commuting as soon as fall semester begins.
The difference between having the house to myself vs a sibling is admittedly not that big. I can finally be naked. Do adult shit. I think becoming a rage Youtuber would be fun. I know there’s more that I had in mind, once I realized it. But regardless. It’s huge to me.