I’m a little bit sad. I managed to work my way up to getting a decent amount of people looking at it. But as you can probably guess, when you don’t post for a month or longer your viewership slowly starts to die and you are back at literal square one. Having to find that viewership again.
For some reason I keep getting viewers from China. People are just looking at this website because it exists or something. I’m not sure what exactly is happening, but I’m not in a space where I can try and make everything else search engine friendly. Especially because this is more of a Blog as opposed to like a How-To kind of website that I’m building. Of course, eventually, I’ll find out what people want.
Maybe I can put my engineering experience to good use and create something and sell that or I can just get ad revenue. And figure out how to make more money from there and build my way to the top somehow.
Right now, I’m kind of lost. I’m afraid of taking the next step and going to a new job. I wasn’t that fortunate when I left the pizza place I worked at. I think I started this blog right after leaving that pizza place, which is alarming to think about because I don’t think in those early posts I mentioned it at all. I only have about $1,300. If I do choose to buy books, it will be even less. I want at least $2,000, maybe even more, to get a car.
And that’s putting everything on hold. I’m just not sure where life’s going to take me right now. I really am not sure. I’m a little bit scared if I’m being honest. I see a lot of homeless people out. And I wonder if that’s going to be me one day. I know, to some degree, dad will try to help. but I can also feel our relationship getting strained. I’m 21 and he’s just going to push me away until I figure it out. But then he’ll still try to hold me to family gatherings as if he’s in any place to try and force me to do things.
I don’t know. I think we’re getting ready for a dramatic shift for me, and I’m not fully sure if it’s good. To be honest, this was all foretold by my damn Chinese zodiac sign prediction for 2020. Earth rabbit? I was going to do an entire post about Earth rabbit and how the coronavirus corresponded directly with the prediction. How everything slowly got worse after May because of it. And how things are going poorly and will continue to go poorly the rest of the year.
I’m going to hold out hope that I can make it but I’m feeling really down. And you know what? I might have to try and start a YouTube channel before the end of this year just so that I can possibly start another income because this is going to take a lot longer to build. A lot longer especially because people don’t have any real interest in somebody like me.
And up log like this. I don’t know. I feel like one day there will be people, interested friends that stay here forever. But for right now, it’s just going to be a fleeting interest from Facebook friends that I’m from my real like real life Facebook account. Facebook’s weird. And the fact that it will give me exactly the same Facebook friends that I Facebook friend suggestions that I have from my own account or friends. I don’t know it’s hard to explain. I’ll explain it better. Maybe I’ll edit it and I don’t know but
Thanks for listening.💋