Site icon Monika Red Diary

Failure to launch.

Everytime I say I’ll do better, I leave you hanging. I will say though. I did just move back home. The past 2 days have been me clearing out my old room of dad’s car shit, so that I can finally reclaim it. I honestly deserve the room. I slept in a motherfucking basement for 3 years, and for my 2 years in college, both of the living situations I had were a struggle.

Anyway. I also had to go back to the house because I left all my cooking shit and food there. And then had Israel drive me back. And I also got a call from my stepmother. Essentially, I wouldn’t be able to transfer until spring semester of the upcoming year.

It also ended with her basically telling me what I already knew, lecturing me almost. The biggest thing being, what do you want to do with your life. Of course I want to rot my brain, play video games and watch TV. My friend said he was in the same position, and that he ended up doing computer science out of the blue. And he’s content with it.

I think I may have already mentioned it in my last post. But my summer is gonna be going through my past, and getting past it. It’s also gonna be about me developing, as soon as the gyms are open, I’m gonna start working out again. And I assume I’ll get my job back around then too.

I already just closed 2 decently sized pieces of that puzzle. I do have a long way to go though. Fanfictions, games, tv shows. I need to revisit alot to see where my passions lie.

I will have to say, however, that this house…. is a fuckin mess. My little sister is autistic and dad’s a decent bit neglectful.

In terms of what I’m gonna do with the blog… I thought I was sure… But I’m never truly sure of anything. We’ll see next week when I’ve moved back into my room.

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