I’m gonna start this with a brief update. This is gonna be the first in many new posts flooding in from my month long hiatus. The update is. We just had pledging for 5 weeks. New job. And the corona crisis hit at the same time a Korean Cyber attack hit our university. And the cherry on the cake is elections for my sorority still happened. I’ll make a fuller more in depth update along with excuses and drama. And after that, I’ll give an in depth explanation about the direction of this blog. I’ve finally decided. But before any of that. I’m going to talk about elections part 1. It’s damn near forced me back into writing.
Sorry about that… On to the dramatics 😀
I lost. I lost the motherfucking floozymistress elections. It makes me feel fucking stupid, but I also feel somewhat free. Now I have a reason to just go. It’s over. The chapter doesn’t have a clue about how big of a mistake they’ve made. Floozymistress, it was the literally the only thing that could’ve tied me down to the chapter, the university, shit… maybe even the state if I truly knew what I wanted.
On a simple level, I get it. I do… Doesn’t change the fact that it stings, ALOT, but it’s not to say they were undeserving. I just really wanted. I’ve said I wanted it since before I got fuckin social chair. What it really came down to was this. The 2 that won were both seniors and I had another year to do it. They didn’t realize that I might not even go to this school next year. They didn’t realize that I didn’t actual want to do social chair twice. I think I’ve made it fairly obvious that I’m kinda done at this point.
Oh yeah, and I can’t the stupid bitch guy friend that keeps hanging around the house. His name is Cameron and he only talks to me about the endless fucking drama he’s dealing with in his fraternity. His brothers treat him like he’s stupid. And instead of dealing with shit himself, he’s always complaining to us, not as if we’re gonna do something about it, but because he truly believes his stupid bullshit is something everyone around is just dying to hear.
The absolutely agitating part is that nobody cares about me. Not even Cameron, who instead of checking in on me is just using me for stress relief. Nobody is a true friend. It’s about time I cut damn near everyone off at this point.
Well, I did gain something. Clarity. A reason. Something to take me out of here. I have left with nothing good from this university or my so called friends. The literal only improvements to my life that have realistically come about were strictly my own doing. Last week, I’d say it’s a 50/50 on whether I’d consider joining this sorority an improvement. It’s obvious what I’d say now. And the next course of action was also made clear.
I asked friends and family randomly heads or tails without telling them what it was for. Heads was for if I should pack up and go back home for the rest of the semester. Tails was for me staying for the last month in the semester. As you can probably tell, 90% picked heads, and I’m gonna run with it. We are 200% gonna continue online classes up to that point. And staying here… I can keep holding a face, but it truly is hard for me to be around them. And having said those words. It’s always been difficult to be around them. I just grew tolerant and more patient. Maybe that’s the takeaway from stupid greek life. I’m a black eoman in a white man’s college, so I guess I just didn’t deserve the “lifelong connections” that were promised.
Anyway, I’m gonna enjoy the damn near 5 month break. I’m not sure if they’ll expect me to talk to them. I’m going to finally… FINALLY enjoy my motherfucking space.
Well now that I’ve talked about that. Let me end with this. April will be me rejuvenating at home, May will be when I create/envision a crisis plan of action. June, July, and August will all be about me. And we’ll see from my crisis plan what my next step is and if school is even remotely in that future.